How to annoy people on the street

when-construction-workers-get-it-wrong09Walk around with pictures of yourself. Ask people if they have seen you.

Tell everyone they look fat and their hair is absolutely horrible.

Fill a vodka bottle with water and drink it on the street, grab people and dance. Sing the vodka song.

Pretend you are talking on the phone and shush everyone around you.

Walk up to people and say “that’s really interesting, go on!”.

Make people cry using onions. 

When people wait at a red light stand in front and begin an inspiring victory speech, yell “Chaargee!!” when the color changes.

Randomly yell “Help! Police brutality!”.  Pretend to look around yourself.

Slip bits of paper into people’s pockets that simply read “7 days”.

Pretend you are blind. Touch people and yell “You’re not Jerry!”.

Stand still on the sidewalk, if people try to pass by  tell them to stop cutting in line. Curse angrily.

Swear at everybody on the road. Accuse them of random things.

Wear sunglasses at night. Bump into things often. Swear loudly.

Smile. All the time. Deviously.

Fake a heart attack.  When someone calls the paramedics pretend nothing happened.

Walk to a busy intersection or street corner, look up at a building and yell “OMG DON’T JUMP!”.

Walk and talk backwards. Twitch your eye.

Smoke weed. Do whatever comes naturally.

Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

Walk down the street simply holding your hand up and shouting “Hey look at my new kite!”. See how many people look. Enjoy their disappointment.

Drum on every available surface. Even people.

Walk down a street with big trees and randomly yell “TIMBER” really loudly. See if people duck.

Tell people they have bad breath.

Put powdered sugar in your hair, sit next to someone and scratch your head a lot.

Touch strangers.

When giving directions, leave out a turn or two.

 Go buy lots of crackers. Set up a stand in the middle of a busy street sidewalk blocking it. Offer people crackers and passage for  dollars.

Ask everyone if they have seen Waldo.

Eat delicious food in a busy intersection, enjoy it so much that everyone can see, offer none, refuse to share.

Dress up in an expensive suit and stand at a street corner holding a sign that says, “I am poor and hungry, please wire transfer money to my bank account.”

Go up to a random person and say, “Hey, you still owe the boss 12  grand, you’d better have it by next Friday if you enjoy having fingers”. Walk away angry.

Go up to an old person and loudly play or sing the song “Don’t Fear The Reaper.”

Insist that skipping everywhere is the new style. Do it.

Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”

Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away.

Catch stray cats and throw them at people. Blame the curse. Sell a cure.

Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Ask people what gender they are.

Go up to a man or woman with a partner and act shocked, “so you have another wife/husband now?! Me and Jinny/Jerry weren’t enough for you?!”. Walk away acting insulted.

Go up to someone and say,” oh my God it’s you!!! Long time no see!”

If you are alone on a street and someone walks by scream and yell “Did you just see that??” If they ask feign ignorance.

Walk up to random people and ask, very seriously, “Do you know the muffin man?”

Answer every question with, “no you”.

Go to a busy corner or street, gasp and point at some random street, see how may people look.

Make beeping noise’s as a large person backs up.

Stare at someone for about five minutes, making sure they know you’re staring at them. Then, slowly sneak up behind them humming the “Jaws” theme. Sniff their head, and then run away. Repeat.

Pretend you are invisible.

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About tehcip

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

2 responses to “How to annoy people on the street”

  1. sarah says :

    Some day when i move to a diff place with big streets prob like new york i will so use these

  2. jocuri super mario bros says :

    Simply wish to say your article is as astounding. The clearness
    in your post is simply spectacular and i could assume you’re an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the enjoyable work.

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