Funny excuses for not going on a date
I’m attending the opening of my garage door.
I want to spend more time with my blender.
I’m having all my plants neutered.
My uncle escaped again.
I’ve been scheduled for a karma transplant.
I have to study for a blood test.
I won’t find a parking space.
I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
I’m trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
I’ve come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
The last time I went out, I never came back.
I’m uncomfortable when I’m alone or with others.
I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
My favorite commercial is on TV.
I’m taking nuisance classes.
I left my body in my other clothes.
I need to change the air in my tires.
I’m going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
I have to hide the bodies.
I think my wife/husband would get pissed.
I have to keep refreshing the FBI website to check if I’m still wanted.
My dog had baby kittens.
My dad said I can’t date till I am married.
My grandma is on fire.
I have to stay home and give my goldfish a bath.
My pet rock died.
I need to help a friend with some business in the desert.
The man on television told me to say tuned.
I have to floss my cat.
I never go out on days that end in “y”.
I’ll be under house arrest by then.
I have to wax the driveway.
I have to go to court, I’m suing myself for brain damages.
People are blaming me for World War II..
I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
I can’t, I will be sick that day.
I can’t anymore, my boyfriend/girlfriend just called.
I changed the lock on my door and now I can’t get out.
I got hit by a fly, the ambulance is on it’s way.
I put your name in a hat with the others, yours didn’t come up this week.
I got struck by lightning while watering my dog.
My spirit guide said not to.
I died yesterday.
I’m doing door-to-door selling European air.
I’ve decided to dedicate my life to spaghetti.
The dog ate my car keys. We’re going to hitchhike to the vet.
My ex girlfriend/boyfriend gets out of jail today and he/she murdered the last person i liked.
I’m trying to cut down.