Archive | February 2009

How to annoy people at the beach

1. Make sand sculptures of questionable body parts

2. Wait for someone to go into the water and then throw your beach blanket over theirs. Then watch the fun as they return looking for their spot.

3. At the concession stand, order a broccoli Popsicle

4. Strike up a conversation with the lifeguard and inquire what would happen if you started yelling, “Shark!”

5. Yell, “Shark!” and see if it’s true

6. Go up to people, frantically, and tell them that you buried your wife/husband in the sand and you can’t find them

7. Dress in a woolen overcoat and count the minutes before the ambulance arrives

8. Bring a backhoe down and dig for clams

9. Find a group of people playing volleyball and when they hit it to you, run away with it

10. When people aren’t looking, replace their suntan lotion with a squeeze bottle of French’s mustard