How to annoy people in amusement parks

Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.

Leave large gaps in between you and the people in front of you while waiting in line.

Every time you pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind you in line.

Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.

Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let you off.

Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.

Speak in Spanish, or pretend you’re deaf and start making rapid hand movements.

Start talking about shaving your excess body hair in line while everyone around you is silent.

Find someone and tell them you’re lost. Use your best acting skills.

Steal all of the pennies out of the water fountains.

Go up to the boy band wanna-be group and pretend to be really excited and ask for their autographs, reassuring them that they’re gonna make it big soon.

Take an Alka-Seltzer tablet and begin to have spasmatic movements in your body while foaming at the mouth at the very top of the tallest ride.

Ask the ride attendant if you cannot ride because you are under the influence of heroine, marijuana, crack, and every other drug you can think of.

Begin to cry when they start the merry-go-round and have them stop it because you’re too scared to go all the way.

Start talking loudly about the last time you got stuck upside-down on this ride, scaring everyone in line around you.

Ask someone that looks like they’re in a hurry for directions.

Complain about how dirty the seat is, and demand they clean it off.

Walk up to anyone in the park, and say “Hi, my name is [your name]” and offer a handshake.

Ask ANYONE for their autograph.

Advertise for a theme park . . . one you’re not at.

Find someone to tell your life story to.

Whisper right in someone’s ear, “I know what you did last summer.”

Comment how good you look in every picture of you on a ride.

Make fun of everyone else in every set of pictures taken during the rides.

Go up to every character walking around and give them a big hug and call them your “hero.”

Ride every water ride and inform everybody with you that you can’t swim and everyone’s gonna drown.


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About tehcip

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

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