How to annoy people in a museum

Ask the caretaker if you may borrow the dinosaur bone for your dog at home, when refused act offended and take it anyway.

Take a nap in a display, when woken up act shocked and yell “What year is it?”

Offer to exchange your change with the old coins, explain how they can’t buy anything with them anymore and you are doing them a favor.

Dress up for a certain historical period, stand still inside the exhibit and scare the living hell out of everyone.

Ask to see Noah’s Ark.

Break the glass with a rock and steal what’s inside, explain how you did not know you weren’t supposed to do that since the sign only said not to touch the glass.

Walk around people watching the exhibits and tell them stories about how you were there when it happened.

Try to feed the dinosaurs or the mannequins, when they refuse to move throw it to the ground and start cursing and mumbling about bad manners.

Try to walk out wearing a stolen uniform.

Touch everything.

Yawn at everything the guide says.

Ask “is it over yet” after each exhibit the guide takes the group to.

Steal the dead animals from the museum, try to set them free, fight security and cry about animal cruelty.

Have a long argument with a mannequin about the rude gesture of staring.

Ask why Neanderthal man is not naked over and over.

Engage in sword fights.

Bring an old out of date book, correct the guide about anything that disagrees with it, for maximum effect use the bible.

Yell “OMG THE DINOSAURS ARE STILL ALIVE” and run out scared.

Push people into the glass exhibits, accuse them of stealing.

Draw a mustache on every painting regardless of gender.

Ask “How much?” for every panting and piece of art.

Act smug throughout the museum, explain how you could paint better things blindfolded.

Bring a stick and start smashing everything, when jumped by security yell “stop living in the past!”.

Contradict the guy concerning the world war, explain how you know better from Call of Duty.

Complain about the toilets not being “historically accurate”.

Follow someone around staring at them continuously.

Bring an empty suitcase, when leaving the museum act like it’s very heavy and whistle innocently.

Ask the guide “How do you know? Were you even there?” after anything he says.

Tell everyone your own version of history involving major conspiracy theories.

Ask to see the ancient aliens.

Keep asking the guide why he/she killed the dinosaurs.

Demand to see the time machine they have hidden in a “secret storage facility”. Explain how that’s the only way they could’ve gotten the information.

Ask if you may borrow the old uniforms for your Halloween party. Promise you will bring them back.

After the guide finishes talking about an item don’t let them continue because “you want to know more”.

When the tour is over shout “What? This is it? We didn’t;t even see the pyramids yet!”

Ask what happened before the oldest item in the museum, and before that, and before that….

Run out from the museum screaming “Everything is a lie!” Wave your hands historically.

Explain to the guide grandpas version of the story, explain how he knows better because he is older.

Run around screaming in horror at the sight of the first dinosaur. Yell at people to flee.

Demand to see the asteroid which killed the dinosaurs, complain about lack of historical evidence, dismiss everything the guide says.

Get into the Neanderthal exhibit, bring a lighter and wave it at people, demand that they bow down to you and worship you as the “Grand Firelord”.

Ask the guide about all of the museums security protocols, after every item casually ask “and how hard would it be to steal this one?”.

Invent different theories about the meaning of abstract art, check if people are buying it, when they do tell them it’s actually just a cake.

Pretend to be a guide and destroy the very foundations of history.

Stare at people walking by and ask “How much?”

Complain that everything is fake.

Laugh at the paintings, tell them they are fake since you already have the original.

Before the Egyptian exhibit warn people about the curse, beg them to turn back now before it’s too late.

Complain about the war exhibits being terribly inaccurate since there weren’t just 5 people in the war.

Act like you don’t understand anything the guide said, ask him to repeat everything.

Walk up to people and say “You belong in a museum!” .


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About tehcip

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

One response to “How to annoy people in a museum”

  1. sarah says :

    I like these but i might get arrested if do some of them

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