How to troll on Facebook
Leave no comments other than “I don’t get it” or “Haters gonna hate”.
Always “Like” only the sad depressing status updates like “ I never thought i could feel so much pain inside.” You can excuse yourself by saying you are such a deep person and understand them.
Search for a random irrelevant picture from people’s albums, leave long intricate comments like “See, sometimes people really are just in denial, now that i see this photo i realize what was going on all the time, i knew it…”. Refuse to answer any questions they have.
When someone posts a depressive status comment about how happy you are that the event occurred, when the next person starts cursing at you and calling you all sorts of things delete your first comment, that way it will seem like the second person was cursing at the status owner all along, end result: “My dog died today.” – “Shut the hell up you asshole!”. Eat popcorn.
Post nonsensical cryptic lines onto peoples walls. Also imply their involvement in illegal activities for maximum effect.
Find a high quality picture of a graveyard, start tagging people onto random graves. Delete any comment they make and allow confusion to flourish.
Leave the impression that you are complementing them on their achievements or looks but deviously hide your actual intention at the end of the comment: “I’m really happy you won that Nobel Prize, i can’t believe you used to wet the bed in high school!”.
Post “Did you remember to take your medication today?” onto random people’s walls.
Give people terrible advice or links that have nothing to do with their questions when they ask: “You need to download more RAM” “ Here’s a link that might help you with your computer (how to properly milk a goat)”, unrelated videos may also work. Or you can always move to the opposite side and start asking stupid questions, keep playing dumb still even after the answers start rolling in. Complain that nobody is helping you.
When people post an artistic photo of themselves enclosed in shadows or far away imply that their picture is fake: “That’s not even you, this is a picture i took of Frank 2 years ago, why are you even stealing it?”. Facebook photos may also be trolled by comments such as: “Why do you have your hand on that kid? I thought the court forbade you to do that!” “You don’t even go to this school, why would you walk all the way there just to take pictures?” “Why the hell are you kissing my boyfriend” or “Did you seriously just Photoshop your head onto Frank’s body just to pretend like you are dating Sarah?”
Haveth thou enjoyment in thine trolleth ways!