Top 15 chemistry jokes

I collected all these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Two atoms are walking down the street.

One atom says, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”

The other replies, “Are you sure??”

“Yes, I’m positive!”


Why did the white bear dissolve in water?   Because it was polar.


Why are chemists great for solving problems?   They have all the solutions.


What’s the difference between Chemistry and cooking?  In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? 


Two chemists go into a restaurant. 

The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.” 

The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.


A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes.  The waiter replies, “For you, No Charge!!!”


What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?  A one molar solution.


The optimist sees the glass half full. 
The pessimist sees the glass half empty. 
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.


If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate!


Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?  They bonded well from the minute they met.


What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? 


Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? 
It went OK.


Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?  He just couldn’t put it down.



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About tehcip

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

5 responses to “Top 15 chemistry jokes”

  1. phsourenglishnook says :

    Do you mind if i reblog this? My students will love these jokes.

  2. tehcip says :

    I don’t mind 😀 the point is to make people laugh anyway 😀 in a smart way 😛

  3. phsourenglishnook says :

    Reblogged this on phs our english nook and commented:
    The school year is almost over. Now it’s time to forget all those sleepless nights you spent studying chemistry and have a good laugh instead.

  4. Matt says :

    If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys!

  5. aasma says :

    all good.i’ve one to share.once mom called methyle but dimethyle ether came bc she called Me O Me.

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