How to troll Santa Claus
Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa’s sure to see them. Go outside, yell, “Ooh! Look! A deer! And he’s got a red nose!” and fire a gun.
Panic when he comes in and beat him senselessly with a baseball bat.
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
Leave out a large plate of cookies for Santa with a big note on the bottom of it „If you want the antidote for the poison you will leave all the presents. No negotiations. When it’s done come wake me up to receive the antidote’s location”
Take everything out of your house as if it’s just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, “Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime.”
Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, “This neighborhood ain’t big enough for the both of us.”
Leave out a big bottle of vodka for him, keep an eye on the news to check where he crashes.
Demand that he teaches you how to do magical things. Do not let him leave until he complies.
Paint “hoof-prints” all over your face and clothes. While he’s in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you’ve been “trampled.” Threaten to sue.
Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, “For The Tooth Fairy. ” Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, “For Santa. ”
While he’s in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn’t have missed that last payment, and take off.
Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
Trap Santa in the house with an auto-lock on the chimney. Leave out a note „I wanna play a game…” Watch the monitors to see if he survives your maze.
About tehcipI always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
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