How to annoy people at the hypermarket
Stand firmly at the entrance of an aisle and with an official tone wave people off with “Move along folks, nothing to see here.”
“Accidentally” get stuck in one of the frozen food doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps you out.
Walk up to the automatic doors and walk back and forth through them and each time u go though look up at the sensor and yell “What sorcery is this!?”
Get a fishing rod and try to catch the frozen fish. Tell people in a monotone voice “Nothing’s biting’ today…” as they walk by.
Ask where the ice cream is while holding a tub of ice cream up and standing in the ice cream isle.
Crouch around suspiciously while humming the Mission Impossible theme.
Go into the dressing room and yell real loud “Hey, we’re out of toilet paper in here!”
Walk about 10 centimeters in front of a moving shopping cart and yell “Its gonna get me!”
Dress as a Jedi and randomly tell other customers: “These are not the products you are looking for.” Wave your hand gently.
Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
Rewind and watch the entire movies on the TV displays. Drag a chair also.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals throughout the day.
Walk up to an employee and in an official tone of voice say “We’ve got a code 3 near fruits”. See if anything happens.
Set up a tent in the camping department. Tell friends they can only join if they bring pillows from Bed & Bath.
While looking at guns in the gun department, suddenly ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are.
When someone strays from their cart looking at something, take their cart and run away.
Follow people throughout the store staying about 5 meters away at all times until they leave the store.
Leave messages on i-pads. Horrible messages.
Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin petting it while giving people an evil stare as they walk in. Whisper: “Good boy, yes, go in…”
Lay on one of the bed displays with a rose and stare at everyone that walks by, wink seductively.
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell babies.
Constantly wink at a person you don’t know. Follow them around and blow kisses to them.
Fill your shopping cart with matchbooks and gasoline and walk around smiling at people.
Make farting noises as you walk by someone.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
Run around the store yelling “I’m a princess” while holding a toy wand.
Take a snickers bar, go in the bathroom and crush the snickers bar in your hand and reach over to the next stall and say “uh do you have some toilet paper over there?”
Try to fly on a broom. If anyone asks what you are doing tell them in a very annoyed voice, “The brooms don’t work!”
Walk through the store pushing a cart that is upside-down.
While walking alone pretend you are have a serious conversation with someone.
Go up to random people with at least 2 things in their shopping cart and ask “Can I have this?”
Make a trail of tomato juice leading to the women’s bathroom.
Go up to a little boy and yell “YOU’RE A WIZARD, HARRY!”
About tehcipI always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
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