Archive | March 2013

Psychology pick-up lines

pretty-girls-with-glasses18I’ll be a prisoner, you be a guard. Abuse me!

What Freudians repress, let’s express!

You’re into threesomes? Great, ’cause I’ve got split personality.

Baby, all i see in my Rorschach Tests is me and you!

Are you real, or are you a delusion? Either way, you’re really hot!

Can I buy you a shrink?

Sex is on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Care to help me self-actualize?

My hypothalamus is going wild for you!

I have a slight OCD care to be my obsession?

I’ve got a great psychoanalysis couch back home, care to try it out?

You remind me of my mother..

Care to teach me more about interpersonal relationships?

I’m not feeling myself today, can I feel you?

Wanna come back to my place and do something you’ll repress later?

Do come lay on my couch… With me.

Who’s your daddy? Do I remind you of him?

Baby you’re so beautiful…I can’t break down my thoughts and behavior around you, i can’t help not experiencing you as a whole.

You make my medulla spatter.

You are the greatest perception of my heart’s delusion!

Hey baby, how about we try an experiment using stimulus and response?

All three levels of my psyche agree, we need to start dating.

You’re the Youngian archetype for the perfect woman.

Baby you’re so fine my brain is changing structure just to process it.

You must be tired, because you’ve been running through my passive-aggressive-libido-suppressed mind all night.

Excuse me, but I couldn’t help noticing that you’re also putting hot dogs through doughnuts.

Mind if I put my cigar in your ashtray? This isn’t just any cigar…

My unconscious mind is urging me to talk to you.

Are you happy to see me, or is that just a defense mechanism?

Baby i love everything about you not just the fragmented parts of your personality or your cognitive functioning.

When you fell from heaven, did it leave you with any lasting emotional scars?

I’d compare you to my mother, but I don’t want to go down that Freudian slippery slope.

Why don’t I show you my giant inkblot so you can tell me how you feel about it, hmm?

Your ego may be saying ‘no’, but your id is giving me a tongue bath.

I’m conducting an experiment, wanna come spend the night over so i can interpret your dreams?

Hey, how about you come over to my place and i free you from your confrontation with the givens of existence?

And ven I snap my fingers, you vill take your clothes off  on and remember none of zis..

You know what, a few minutes of probing on my couch and you’d be a completely different woman!