Archive | July 2013

Politics pick-up lines

image1Woah baby, you got my vote!

I may be conservative, but I’ll get liberal with you!

You must be Seward authorizing the purchase of Alaska because I’m experiencing some unprecedented growth.

I don’t need a CRS report to know how beautiful you are.

When it comes to hope and change, I hope you’ll go out with me, but if you say “no” then I’d prefer you change your mind.

You know, the national debt isn’t the only thing that’s rising.

Hey baby, wanna help preserve the institution of marriage?

Hey baby, I’m with the NSA and i already know you’ll like me so let’s just go out.

Let’s play health care reform. I’ll be the nurse and you can be the doctor.

I’d like to get your opinion on my poll.

Are there terrorists around? Because I think you’re the bomb.

Baby care to let me in your Oval Office?

Presidents do it four years in a row.

Ask not what I can do for you, ask what you can do for me on our date.

I might not be in your political party baby, but how about I just party with you tonight?

Baby I’m a property fan I’m into respecting your right to enjoy the benefits of an object, my object that is.

Hey babe, could you give my voting lever a little pull?

I’ll always preserve our union baby.

I’d like to swear you in as my Chief Executive Girlfriend.

Hey girl, are you gonna give me your phone number or should i just ask the NSA?

Baby I’m just giving you a fair warning that you can’t keep hiding those two weapons of mass destruction you got there so please make the arrangements for my arrival as I’m already planning an inspection.

I’ve got a five year plan and it includes you… well, it doesn’t have to be five years, tonight works for me!

Let’s get hammered and I’ll show you my sickle.

I wanna drill you like an Alaskan oilfield.

Wanna find out what went on on those erased parts of that tape baby?

There’s a conspiracy going around that we may not end up together, wanna prove it wrong?

Let’s protest in the nude… in my bedroom.

You may not be the First Lady, but I’ll make you feel like one!

Baby you can trust me, I always pull out at the last second.

You’re causing a rise in my polls.

Wanna go back to my place and form a coalition?

Baby I’ll build you a moon base if you let me get to third.

I’ve got a stimulus package waiting for you in my pants.

Baby, you are hotter than the flag we’re burning.

Just because the national debt is going up doesn’t mean I cant go down on you baby.

I believe in your right to chose me.

Hey baby I got free contraceptives.

You can raise more than my taxes!

I asked Barack Obama if we could get together later, and he said Yes We Can!

Is that the Constitution in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Are you in charge of the new Transportation Bill because you have been running through my mind all day.

How about you poll me until I incumbent.

Hey baby, wanna make like the surplus and go down on me?

I’d love to have a discussion with you about Dick and Bush.

Care to work under me?

If going out with you was a referendum, I’d vote yes

I see the flat tax wouldn’t apply to you hehe.

How would you like to take a ride on my Air Force One?

Hey baby, do you want to join my party?

Your campaign headquarters or mine?

Do you wanna see a majority whip?

Baby you make me wanna stage a coup d’état to make you go down… on me.

What is your favorite position… in the energy crisis debate?

It is my duty to closely  examine all Party Organs.

Do you wanna go stuff the ballot box?

Wanna come over to my place ? I’ve got some pro-growth policies we can talk about all night long.