Tag Archive | funny pick up lines

Politics pick-up lines

image1Woah baby, you got my vote!

I may be conservative, but I’ll get liberal with you!

You must be Seward authorizing the purchase of Alaska because I’m experiencing some unprecedented growth.

I don’t need a CRS report to know how beautiful you are.

When it comes to hope and change, I hope you’ll go out with me, but if you say “no” then I’d prefer you change your mind.

You know, the national debt isn’t the only thing that’s rising.

Hey baby, wanna help preserve the institution of marriage?

Hey baby, I’m with the NSA and i already know you’ll like me so let’s just go out.

Let’s play health care reform. I’ll be the nurse and you can be the doctor.

I’d like to get your opinion on my poll.

Are there terrorists around? Because I think you’re the bomb.

Baby care to let me in your Oval Office?

Presidents do it four years in a row.

Ask not what I can do for you, ask what you can do for me on our date.

I might not be in your political party baby, but how about I just party with you tonight?

Baby I’m a property fan I’m into respecting your right to enjoy the benefits of an object, my object that is.

Hey babe, could you give my voting lever a little pull?

I’ll always preserve our union baby.

I’d like to swear you in as my Chief Executive Girlfriend.

Hey girl, are you gonna give me your phone number or should i just ask the NSA?

Baby I’m just giving you a fair warning that you can’t keep hiding those two weapons of mass destruction you got there so please make the arrangements for my arrival as I’m already planning an inspection.

I’ve got a five year plan and it includes you… well, it doesn’t have to be five years, tonight works for me!

Let’s get hammered and I’ll show you my sickle.

I wanna drill you like an Alaskan oilfield.

Wanna find out what went on on those erased parts of that tape baby?

There’s a conspiracy going around that we may not end up together, wanna prove it wrong?

Let’s protest in the nude… in my bedroom.

You may not be the First Lady, but I’ll make you feel like one!

Baby you can trust me, I always pull out at the last second.

You’re causing a rise in my polls.

Wanna go back to my place and form a coalition?

Baby I’ll build you a moon base if you let me get to third.

I’ve got a stimulus package waiting for you in my pants.

Baby, you are hotter than the flag we’re burning.

Just because the national debt is going up doesn’t mean I cant go down on you baby.

I believe in your right to chose me.

Hey baby I got free contraceptives.

You can raise more than my taxes!

I asked Barack Obama if we could get together later, and he said Yes We Can!

Is that the Constitution in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Are you in charge of the new Transportation Bill because you have been running through my mind all day.

How about you poll me until I incumbent.

Hey baby, wanna make like the surplus and go down on me?

I’d love to have a discussion with you about Dick and Bush.

Care to work under me?

If going out with you was a referendum, I’d vote yes

I see the flat tax wouldn’t apply to you hehe.

How would you like to take a ride on my Air Force One?

Hey baby, do you want to join my party?

Your campaign headquarters or mine?

Do you wanna see a majority whip?

Baby you make me wanna stage a coup d’état to make you go down… on me.

What is your favorite position… in the energy crisis debate?

It is my duty to closely  examine all Party Organs.

Do you wanna go stuff the ballot box?

Wanna come over to my place ? I’ve got some pro-growth policies we can talk about all night long.

History pick-up lines

r169_457x256_3404_Cersei_Seated_2d_fantasy_girl_woman_sexy_portrait_queen_picture_image_digital_artYou know…there’s a reason they say I started the Era of Good Feelings… 

Baby you turn my bronze into iron!

Don’t worry dear, my missile is never in crisis.

Madam, it is imperative that you recognize my natural right to pursue your happiness.

If I was a knight, would you lower your drawbridge for me?

I’m sorry i wasn’t part of your past, want me to make it up by being in your future?

My dear…Your beauty could launch a thousand ships.

Baby you’re hotter than Rome under Nero.

Care to come over for some Hysteria Relief?

Hey baby, would you like me to be your Secretary of the Interior…?

You remind me of  Russia in 1917, I’m starting to feel a huge uprising in my lower class.

Hey baby, care to allow me an expedition to prove that you aren’t flat?

Nice pyramids…

I’m like George Washington — I cannot tell a lie. So believe me when I say you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.

No one can debunk the fact that you are the center of my universe…

 Want to go back to my place and discuss Big Stick Diplomacy? 

You are the Renaissance to my Dark Ages, you light up my world.

I’m like the Vietnam War – way longer than you thought I’d be.

Baby you could even make the Cold War hot!

I wouldn’t need the Emancipation Proclamation if i were your slave baby!

I bet if Jefferson had met you, he would have vetoed the Non-Intercourse Act.

You remind me of the guillotine, i always lose my head around you dear.

Baby, you are hotter than the Great Fire of London.

Not even the Berlin Wall could keep me from you my dear.

Did you have anything to do with The Manhattan Project? Because you’re the bomb!

Baby, I’d annex your territory any day!

Let me know if you need any help getting out of that corset.

Want to reenact the Battle of the Bulge? 

Babe… your love is like a dictatorship…it has absolute power over my heart!

Wow, how astonishing! You must be the eighth wonder of the world! 

I wish to colonize your heart my dear.

Good afternoon sir is that an telescope in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Are you a historical landmark? Because Eiffel for you.

Want to play War of 1812? I’ll light your White House on fire… 

Your palace looks like it could use a sturdy column.

I’d go to the moon and back for you baby!

You wanna play Pearl Harbor? It’s a game where I lay back and you blow the hell out of me.

I’ve got the ‘thanks’ ready, if you’ll do the ‘giving…

If I could change the alphabet, I would put ‘V’ and ‘I’ together.

My heart burns like a witch for you.

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore….my face should be among them.

Unlike the stock market, I never crash at my peak.

Hey baby, I got the sword you got the sheath, how about a truce?

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Gentleman pick-up lines

rsz_1beautiful-girls-and-women-hq-040-480x400I don’t mean to bother you, but I had to come over and introduce my self; otherwise I’ll be kicking myself for days.

Pardon me but I seem to have gotten blinded by your beauty so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

Kissing is the language of love, care for a conversation?

I would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.

Did you just jump out of broiler? Cause you’re looking quite steamy in that getup there.

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

If you were a tear in my eye, I wouldn’t cry for fear of losing you.

If beauty was a drop of water, then you’d be the ocean.

My dear, you are deserving of masterful poetry, not mere words.

Would you mind lending me your heart?

Care to retire to my study and see my etchings?

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

Would you care to accompany me to my dwellings for some tea?

You may think I’m drunk but  I’m just intoxicated by your beauty.

Hello, my fine companion over there thinks you’re kinda cute, but I don’t. I think you’re absolutely gorgeous.

May I have the distinguished honor and privilege of sitting next to you?

Excuse me but may I sell you an indulgence? Because it must be a sin to look as good as you do!

Can you give me directions to your heart? I’ve seemed to have lost myself in your eyes.

You shouldn’t wear make up my dear. It’s messing with perfection!

Excuse me I’d like to offer a fair warning madame, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.

If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.

Perhaps it really was a good decision to take my library card because I’m checking you out my dear.

There is no pick up line worthy of such a beautiful woman.

I’m having a really bad day and it always makes me fell better when I see a pretty girl smile so would you smile for me?

You look almost perfect…the only thing I can see that’s wrong is your lips…they’re not touching mine.

I don’t mean to bother you but I know somebody who likes you and if I weren’t so shy, I’d tell you who.

Something tells me you’re sweet. May I have a sample?

Excuse me, you look like a woman who has heard every pick up line in the book, so might i perhaps offer my own as well?

If I told you what a beautiful body you have, would you hold it against me?

You are a walking art exhibit. I could study you for days.

You, my dear, are the very reason men fall in love.

Do you mind if I share the rest of my life with you?

You are a compass, my dear. Without you I am lost.

I can make something else besides your goggles fog up.

Madame, you make the southern part of my union suit want to secede from the north.

Let me know if you need any help getting out of that corset my dear.

Do you swing towards Edison or Tesla cause either way you’re making me spark.

You can dock your hot air balloons at my port any day!

Pardon me madame but you’re steaming up my goggles.

Hmm, you appear to look like my first wife…/How many times have you been married?/Never.

Your bustle must be filled with hydrogen cause it’s giving me a rise.

There must be something wrong with my monocle. I can’t keep my eye off your glorious smile.

The only factor your eyes haven’t by now told me is your identify.

There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look.

Hello, I’m Mr Right. I heard you were looking for me.

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

I used to feel the sky was blue, but then I saw your eyes.

When I’m older looking back at all of my finest memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

Kissing you is like drinking salty water: You drink, but your thirst only increases.

I was just showing this flower how beautiful you are.

Your eyes are as dark as a castle moat by midnight. Lower your drawbridge and let me cross.

Excuse me ma’am are you a captain?/Not particularly why do you wish to ask?/Because you’re raising my Private’s attention.

Young-men-spend-more-on-beauty-products-than-women

Psychology pick-up lines

pretty-girls-with-glasses18I’ll be a prisoner, you be a guard. Abuse me!

What Freudians repress, let’s express!

You’re into threesomes? Great, ’cause I’ve got split personality.

Baby, all i see in my Rorschach Tests is me and you!

Are you real, or are you a delusion? Either way, you’re really hot!

Can I buy you a shrink?

Sex is on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Care to help me self-actualize?

My hypothalamus is going wild for you!

I have a slight OCD care to be my obsession?

I’ve got a great psychoanalysis couch back home, care to try it out?

You remind me of my mother..

Care to teach me more about interpersonal relationships?

I’m not feeling myself today, can I feel you?

Wanna come back to my place and do something you’ll repress later?

Do come lay on my couch… With me.

Who’s your daddy? Do I remind you of him?

Baby you’re so beautiful…I can’t break down my thoughts and behavior around you, i can’t help not experiencing you as a whole.

You make my medulla spatter.

You are the greatest perception of my heart’s delusion!

Hey baby, how about we try an experiment using stimulus and response?

All three levels of my psyche agree, we need to start dating.

You’re the Youngian archetype for the perfect woman.

Baby you’re so fine my brain is changing structure just to process it.

You must be tired, because you’ve been running through my passive-aggressive-libido-suppressed mind all night.

Excuse me, but I couldn’t help noticing that you’re also putting hot dogs through doughnuts.

Mind if I put my cigar in your ashtray? This isn’t just any cigar…

My unconscious mind is urging me to talk to you.

Are you happy to see me, or is that just a defense mechanism?

Baby i love everything about you not just the fragmented parts of your personality or your cognitive functioning.

When you fell from heaven, did it leave you with any lasting emotional scars?

I’d compare you to my mother, but I don’t want to go down that Freudian slippery slope.

Why don’t I show you my giant inkblot so you can tell me how you feel about it, hmm?

Your ego may be saying ‘no’, but your id is giving me a tongue bath.

I’m conducting an experiment, wanna come spend the night over so i can interpret your dreams?

Hey, how about you come over to my place and i free you from your confrontation with the givens of existence?

And ven I snap my fingers, you vill take your clothes off  on and remember none of zis..

You know what, a few minutes of probing on my couch and you’d be a completely different woman!

Anthropology pick-up lines

relichunter2Hey Baby, I wanna see your bedrock!

Let’s pretend you’re full of  C14 so I can date you.

Baby, you must have time distortion powers because you’are turning me into Homo Erectus!

Would you like to examine my bone?

What a nice pair of platform mounds you got there!

Wanna extract some minerals from my bone?

Let’s forget the carbon and move straight to the dating!

Hey baby, Can I probe your moist area?

My, my you are a special find.

Are you an excavation site?  Because I dig you.

I’m a linguistic anthropologist, may i study your tongue?

Hey baby, I wanna go down today… about 10 centimeters.

Fancy rimming my sherd?

Hey baby, can i use my GPR on you?

I sure would like to calibrate your curves.

Baby you’re more precious than an artifact!

Wanna share a trench?

I would never bury our love in a coniferous forest, because the acidity of the soil would ruin any chance of preservation.

So, wanna get dirty?

I’d like to excavate your site.

You know, you really match my culturally constructed beauty standard !

Care to shine my trowel?

You like petrology? Well, check out this cleavage!

Would you like to see my totem ?

Come here and let me demonstrate how to shovel probe.

My, what a large ranging pole you have!

Hey baby, could i have a look at your artifacts?

Can I excavate your mounds?

Hey, I’ve just discovered a bone in my pants, and I was wondering if you could date it.

Hey baby, can I survey your features ?

I find your culture fascinating…I’d like to learn more about your mating rituals.

Can I touch your tanglible heritage?

Is that an increment borer in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Wow, and all this time I thought nothing was sexier than archaeometry!

Did it hurt when you fell from your culture’s dogmatic view of an afterlife?

Let’s have a debate. I’ll be a cultural relativist, and you assume the missionary position.

If I told you that you had some nice secondary sex characteristics, would you hold them against me?

You remind me of the Kennewick Man, I’d do anything to claim you for my own.

Baby, your hotness is a social fact!

I like your hotspot.

Baby, I’ve got a huge grant !

Informatics pick-up lines

259184343_3eb35475a2 Mind if i try your compiler on my hard code?

You compute me!

You’re hotter then the bottom of my laptop.!

Ping . Response?

Talk QWERTY to me!

It’s not the size of my hard drive, it’s the way I upload.

Need me to unzip your files?

If you were an ISP I’d dial you all day long!

I think my heart just lagged…

Hi, I’m writing a new make-out program. Would you like to join the beta-test?

You got me stuck on Caps Lock, if you know what I mean…

If you were a part of my domain, we could share cookies.

Wanna place  your software on my hard drive?

Baby, you must be running a TCP protocol, since every time I talk to you, your body gives me an acknowledgment!

I’ll bet my hard drive is the biggest you’ve ever seen.

Computer techs have skilled fingers. if you know what I mean…

I wish i could  hack you in my dreams!

Baby, you overclock my processor.

Wow, you just  hacked into my heart and executed loveatfirstsight.exe!

Hey baby, I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop-up.

What do you say I get your method signature so I can call you?

If you have an empty slot, I have the card to fill it.

Hey baby, if I was an operating system, your process would have top priority.

If I were an assembly language, I’d jump to your address, shift right a bit, push it in, pop it out, load a byte into your accumulator, then jump if you’re negative.

My love for you is like a session that never times out.

I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle.

I’m very well-oriented with private objects.

What do you say we configure our hard drives to master and slave position?

Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive.

You still use Internet Explorer? You must like it nice and slow…

I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle.

I wish I had the RSS feed of your heart.

Don’t hesitate to call me if you need to get rid of a Trojan.

I’ll bet my hard drive is the biggest you have ever seen!

If I said you had a beautiful <body>, would you hold it against me?

How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping?

Baby, you are as mysterious as the random reboot problems I’m having with my Linux server.

Have you ever been deep-linked?

Hey, I really wanna hack your kernel.

Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open?

If you won’t let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.

Hey, how about I take off your cover and insert a bigger CPU?

How about we go home and you handle my exception?

You make my software turn into hardware!

I’d really  like to play on your lap-top!

Nice CDs!

Come to my 127.0.0.1 and I’ll give you sudo access.

You have the hottest multi-touch interface.

Don’t worry babe, my backdoor Trojan won’t do any real damage.

Can I put my USB stick in your 2.0 Slot?

You can talk to me in binary all the way home, baby.

Is your IP available for some chat?

I’d love to probe your ports.

I checked your syntax and found no errors. Wanna go compile?

Hey cutie, are you looking for someone to format your drive?

Would it be easier to embed you if I show you my plugins?

I’d like to send some packets into your SSH tunnel.

Astronomy pick-up lines

SexyAnimeinLaboratoryGownHey baby, wanna witness a gamma ray burst?

I think you might be a star because i can’t stop orbiting around you.

Ever wonder what’s happening under Orion’s belt?

Hey, wanna  come to my place and observe something else that’s constantly expanding ?

Your beauty is as rare as a Venus eclipse.

Hey baby, how many Gamma-ray bursts can your Milky Way take?

Woah! What’s the name of THIS heavenly body?

What do you say we observe each other through naked eyes?

Hey, how’d you like to recreate the Big Bang?

You are hot like a perfect star baby, mind if i enter your Goldilocks Zone ?

How about you and I form a binary system?

Baby you make my telescope expand.

If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand.

You make me hotter than NML Cygni.

Your smile is like a black hole, nothing can escape it’s pull.

Your name must be Amdromeda, because we are destined to collide.

Would you allow me to experience what’s beyond your Event Horizon?

Do you also feel the strong gravitational pull of my bed?

You can use my telescope anytime. Hehe.

Nice asteroids.

My pants are approaching escape velocity.

Your eyes are brighter than Sirius.

Wanna join the hundred-thousand-mile-high club?

You must be a Magnetar because i feel a strong  magnetism between us.

Care to experience some thrust?

Wanna initiate a docking maneuver?

Hey baby, you caught my Curiosity, mind if i explore you a little?

I’ve never seen stars as beautiful as your eyes.

Do you work for NASA?  Because you’re out of this world.

Of all the planets in all the solar systems in all the galaxies, you had to walk  into mine…

If a star fell every time I thought of you, the sky would be dark at night.

Wanna see how a Pulsar feels like?

Hey baby, mind if i send my probe into your wormhole?

Wanna observe the Big Dipper? Hehe.

Mind if my comet enters your solar system?

Wow you feel like a comet, you are a once in a lifetime experience and I’m glad i didn’t miss it, can i buy you a drink?

Baby, you’re like a white dwarf star, extremely hot but not very bright.

Math pick-up lines

bum-math1You must be the square root of -1 because you can’t be real.

Wanna expand my polynomial?

I wish i was your problem set, because then i’d be really hard, and you’d be doing me on the desk.

Hey, can I plug my solution into your equation?

You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.

Hey, how about we take each other to the limit to see if we converge ?

My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.

I heard you’re good at algebra, could you replace my X without asking Y ?

You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.

I’ll take you to your limit if you show me your end behavior.

Your body has the nicest arc length I’ve ever seen.

I can figure out the square root of any number in less than 10 seconds. You don’t believe me? Well, then, let’s try it with your phone number.

If we were two angles in a triangle, I’d never get tired of complimenting you.

Hey baby, what’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’r my number 1!

Wow, what a nice  asymptote you got there!

I’m not being obtuse, but you’re acute girl.

I wish I was your second derivative so I could investigate your concavities.

Honey, you’re sweeter than pi.

Your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors.

Wow, you’ve got more curves than a triple integral!

Babe, you can calculate my radius anytime.

Would you like to find out my circumference?

My love for you is like pi: irrational and never ending.

Would you like to see the exponential growth of my natural log?

You know…I can use my rod of infinite length for more than just simplifying calculations.

The volume of a generalized cylinder has been known for thousands of years, but you won’t know the volume of mine until tonight.

I am equivalent to the Empty Set when you are not with me.

If I were a function you would be my asymptote – I always tend towards you.

If I were sin2(x) and you were cos2(x), together we’d be ONE!

SexisFunBlackSS-1024x463

Chemistry pick-up lines

tumblr_lopp7z0pDm1qe17xio1_500Chemistry students do it on the table periodically.

How about me and you go back to my house and form a covalent bond.

So what does it take to get over your activation barrier?

You must be calcium bicarbonate, because if you let me get you wet, then the reaction will be explosive.

Wanna do an experiment ? You bring your beaker and I’ll bring my stirring rod.

Hey baby, will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?

You make my atomic number rise.

Hey, wanna see if we can make some new compounds from an “energetic” reaction?

You’re hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power!

Forget hydrogen you’re my number one element.

You must be concentration gradient because I’d move down on you.

Baby, we’ve got chemistry together…

If I could rearrange the periodic table, I’d put Uranium and Iodine together.

You be Flourine and I’ll be Francium and maybe later I can give you an electron.

If you were C6, and i were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar.

I just bought a molecular model kit, want to play with my stick and balls?

You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!

Baby, you’re copper and tellurium combined, because you are CuTe.

Hey baby, you can hop on my myelin sheathe all you want. The quicker the transmissions, the more the action potential.

Wanna experiment with a chemist?

You must be one of those new neon compounds with fluorine and iodine, because you are FINe!

You are a photon quanta to my valence electron. You excite me to a higher energy level.

For you guys out there lets check out some pick up lines

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I know somebody that thinks they might like you a lot. And if i wasn’t so shy, I would tell you who it is.

Did they just take you out of the oven? [No, why?] Because you’re hot!

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

Let’s go behind that rock, and get a little boulder.

You be the tree, and I’ll wrap you like a Koala.

You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.

I’m feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?

If a star fell from the sky every time I thought about you, then tonight the sky would be empty.

You must be a magician, because everytime I look at you, everyone else disappears.

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