Act like a movie star.
Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they’re Tom Cruise orMadonna (This best when the person looks nothing like the movie star in question).
Ask the guy next to you to hold your dentures (senior citizens only).
Ask the person next to you, “Are you in the Witness Protection program too?”
Attempt to promote Hinduism among passengers.
Bring a “Word-a-Day” calendar on board with you. Read every single word aloud and attempt to use it in a sentence. Use them all incorrectly. “‘My, you have a very irate home,’ she said governessly.”
Bring a cellular phone. Call God. Say, “The reception is much clearer up here. . . .”
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