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Chemistry pick-up lines

tumblr_lopp7z0pDm1qe17xio1_500Chemistry students do it on the table periodically.

How about me and you go back to my house and form a covalent bond.

So what does it take to get over your activation barrier?

You must be calcium bicarbonate, because if you let me get you wet, then the reaction will be explosive.

Wanna do an experiment ? You bring your beaker and I’ll bring my stirring rod.

Hey baby, will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?

You make my atomic number rise.

Hey, wanna see if we can make some new compounds from an “energetic” reaction?

You’re hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power!

Forget hydrogen you’re my number one element.

You must be concentration gradient because I’d move down on you.

Baby, we’ve got chemistry together…

If I could rearrange the periodic table, I’d put Uranium and Iodine together.

You be Flourine and I’ll be Francium and maybe later I can give you an electron.

If you were C6, and i were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar.

I just bought a molecular model kit, want to play with my stick and balls?

You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!

Baby, you’re copper and tellurium combined, because you are CuTe.

Hey baby, you can hop on my myelin sheathe all you want. The quicker the transmissions, the more the action potential.

Wanna experiment with a chemist?

You must be one of those new neon compounds with fluorine and iodine, because you are FINe!

You are a photon quanta to my valence electron. You excite me to a higher energy level.

Biology pick-up lines

tumblr_lw3a77OP1I1qjakjso2_500Your so cute you make my zygomaticus muscles contract.

If i was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?

You give me more jolt than a mitochondria!

My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia tells me I like you.

If I were a Shwann cell, I’d squeeze around your axon and give you a fast action potential.

You’re so hot you denature my proteins.

I don’t need neurons to stimulate your sensory system.

Let’s work out our orbicularis oris muscles together!

Whenever I am near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.

Hey baby, wanna form a synapse with me and exchange neurotransmitters?

Hey baby, can I be your enzyme? Because my active site is dying for a chemical reaction.

If I were an enzyme, I’d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

I want to work on your leucine zipper with my zinc fingers.

We fit together like the sticky ends of recombinant DNA.

If I were a neurotransmitter, I would be dopamine so I could activate your reward pathway.

Do you want to extract some protein from my column?

If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?

You must be gibberelin, because I’m experiencing some stem elongation.

Right now we’re just two RNA, but maybe we could transcribe together and become DNA.

Top 15 chemistry jokes

I collected all these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Two atoms are walking down the street.

One atom says, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”

The other replies, “Are you sure??”

“Yes, I’m positive!”

 

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?   Because it was polar.

 

Why are chemists great for solving problems?   They have all the solutions.

 

What’s the difference between Chemistry and cooking?  In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.

 

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? 
Na

 

Two chemists go into a restaurant. 

The first one says “I think I’ll have an H2O.” 

The second one says “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.

 

A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes.  The waiter replies, “For you, No Charge!!!”

 

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