Tag Archive | stupid things people do

25 ways to troll when bored

learn-th-eart-of-trolling-it-is-simpleMake vanilla pudding. Place it in a mayo jar. Eat it on the street. Also Gatorade in a window cleaning solution.

Point at someone on the street or in a store and shout “You’re one of them!” Run and pretend to trip. Crawl away slowly.

Wear a shirt that says “Life”. Hand out lemons on the street.

Get into a dressing room at the clothes store and yell: “Oh no! There’s no more toilet paper left!!”.

Run into a store or to someone on the street. Ask them in a frantic manner “What year is it?”. After they answer yell “It worked!” and run away cheering.

Get into a crowded elevator and say “I bet you are all wondering why i called you all here today…”.

Go up to a random lady with a daughter and say her son is adorable.

Grab a banana in a store and ask the clerk “Why are all your carrots yellow?”.

Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.

Walk up to people chatting on the street and stare at them, after a while ask “So, are you gonna kiss him/her or what?”.

Go to a fast food restaurant and order fries without the potatoes.

Make “No Dumping – Violators Will Be Prosecuted” signs and put them in public bathroom stalls.

Go to a pet store and buy bird seed. Ask the clerk how long it will take for the birds to grow after you plant the seeds.

Buy a parrot. Teach it to say “Help, I’ve been turned into a parrot!”.

Go to random dating sites and create awesome profiles for your dog.

Go up to random people at the mall, show them your ID, and ask: “Have you seen this man?”.

Go to an Italian restaurant in a Mario costume.

At a crowded street corner look up and yell “No! Don’t jump!”. See how many people look.

Put up a lost dog poster with the picture of a cat. Provide no contact details only a large reward.

Go to a store, pick up a bag of sliced turkey and start screaming “What have they done to you?!!? Nooo!”

Superglue coins to the sidewalk. Eat popcorn.

Hug a stranger then push them back angrily saying “Get off me, what are you doing weirdo?!”

Randomly shout “You pervert!”. See how many people react or turn around.

Dress up in a suit. Look at people walking on the street, speak into your watch “I found him/her.”. Start following someone.

Look at see through glass and when someone is on the other side shout “Oh no! I’m hideous!”.

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Funny excuses for being late for work/school

smash_alarm_clock

I saw a fire truck as I was coming to work and went home to make sure my house wasn’t on fire.

I was up all night arguing with God.

I got involved in a gang war by accident. We won.

I’m late because my dad was punishing my younger brother this morning. He was beating him with my shoes. I couldn’t come in barefoot.

I had this conflict going on within me regarding whether to exhibit herd mentality by attending class/work or whether to take a more individualistic decision of skipping school/work; I chose the former but the decision-making process was lengthy and complex.

I was possessed, the priest barely made it out alive.

I made the mistake of letting in some Jehovah’s Witnesses and they wouldn’t leave.

There were three wasps in my bedroom so I hid under my bed for three hours until they flew out the window.

The cops kept chasing me but i eventually lost them and came as soon as i could.

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Funny excuses for not doing your homework

findxI  didn’t do my homework because of my eyes….I  couldn’t see any reason to do it.

I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.

My mother took it to have it framed. 

I didn’t do it, because I didn’t want the other kids in the class to look bad.

A weird old man stole it  and tried to lure me into his house with it.

I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.

We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn’t feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven’t seen it since.

I got soap in my eyes and was blinded for the rest of the night.

It is against my spiritual beliefs to do homework on a day that ends with a ‘y’.

It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket stole it.

Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked.

I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.

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Stupid things everyone does – including you!

 

Walking into a room and not remembering why you went in there.

Having an argument with yourself and ending up getting pissed off by it.

Immediately refuse something out of politeness but then regretting you did so.

When the batteries on the remote control are dead or weak you will press harder on the buttons thinking it helps.

Pressing ctrl alt del repeatedly when the computer freezes although this only manages to make the freeze last even longer, it doesn’t help one bit.

Cursing at inanimate objects if we get hurt by them as if they had feelings. Sometimes even expecting an apology.

When warned that something is hot we touch it to check and obviously get burned. 

Walking into a dollar shop and sometimes while checking out an item still wondering how much it costs.

Looking at a watch and still not knowing what time it is when you take your eyes off of it.

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Those annoying people on facebook

If you can identify yourself with the following 15 examples which i will present below then your posts probably don’t even end up on any wall anyway.

But if you do not wish to fall victim to the blockhammer avoid the following set of behaviors:

1 The marketer

So you have finally landed a job. Good for you congrats!

However i couldn’t care less about those special prices your firm offers, or how much money i save by buying 2 tons of paper, if you want people to know that crap create a marketing page. Or if you prefer losing all your friends and one day when your house is on fire and your phone is gone because the dog was chewing on it, caught fire and ran outside, you won’t be able to get any help with your “help im trapped by fire lol” post on facebook coz everyone blocked you.

2 Vaguebooking

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9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time… I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Damn Right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film, “did ya see that?” No Loser, I paid to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!

6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”… Didn’t give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is ‘new and improved’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn’t be new.

8. When people say “life is short”. What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?” If the bus came, would I be standing here???