Top witty comebacks and insults
You must have a very low opinion of people if you think they are your equals.
If you stop telling lies about me, I’ll stop telling the truth about you.
Have you considered suing your brains for nonsupport?
I’m not going to get into a battle of wits with you; I never attack anyone who’s unarmed.
All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it’s hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.
Wow! You don’t know the meaning of the word fear! But then again you don’t know the meaning of most words.
The trouble with you is that you lack the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
Judging by the old saying, “What you don’t know can’t hurt you,” you are practically invulnerable.
If you said what you thought, you’d be speechless.
You’re having delusions of competence.
I don’t know what makes you tick, but I hope it’s a time bomb.
You are as strong as an ox and almost as intelligent.
I will always cherish the initial misconception I had about you.
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you any worse advice.
I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Don’t be humble, you’re not that great.
I would probably find you more interesting had I studied psychology.
Don’t you have a terribly empty feeling… in your skull?
You’re a person of rare intelligence, you rarely show any.
I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me right now.
Are you simply stupid, or are you possessed by a retarded ghost?
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
Keep talking. I always yawn when I’m interested.
I notice that you never let an idea interrupt the flow of your conversation.
Careful now, don’t let your brains go to your head!
I’ve seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!
Let’s play horse. I’ll be the front end and you be yourself.
Look, don’t go to a mind reader, go to a palmist, I’m fairly sure you’ve got a palm.
May i have the pleasure of your absence?